• talks about her Confessions

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    Confession: I’m a self proclaimed binge-eater.

     

    Yesterday was day {5/30} and it went well.  It was also a Sunday.  Sunday’s are one of my favorite days of the week.  We go to church, I get the whole day with my family, we visit both our families, we take walks, we chill, we eat…good food…a lot.

     

    For as long as I can remember, Sunday’s have been a kind of free day as far as food goes.  It’s almost as if I’ve thought-and been exposed to others who thought-that what you at on Sunday’s didn’t show up.  You weren’t accountable for it because it was as if it didn’t happen.  Just a free day to try out all the things you’d been wanting all week.  Waffles, crepes, roast & potatoes, cakes & ice cream, cookies {and the dough-because we all know that’s the best part!}, and whatever else we scrounged up at our house & wherever we were visiting.

     

    I used to be super good all week and then Sunday would come.  I’d start with a good breakfast, a small snack a few hours later, and about lunch time, things would start to go downhill.  I tend to be a very all-or-nothing foodaholic, like I’ve mentioned before, and I’d tell myself, “You can have one thing after lunch.  One piece of homemade peanut butter bars.”  Then I’d eat a small serving.  If I’d been able to stop there, I would have been fine.  I’d have been a NORMAL person.  Not me though.  I’ve never been comfortable being normal.  In my head-even though I’d just consciously made the decision to eat it, taken responsibility for that decision, and been great with it-I’d start saying, “Great, now you screwed up your whole day.  Might as well just eat whatever you want & start over tomorrow.”

     

    The binge would begin.  I would eat whatever I could find.  Whatever sounded good.  A piece of that, a taste of that, a bowl of this, a bite of that.  To the point where nothing sounded or tasted good, and I was feeling such guilt & disgust in myself-and my lack of control-that it was totally not enjoyable.

     

    The next morning & day would be awful.  I’d get up feeling lethargic and sick.  I’d have to detox for a few days just to get back into a good routine.  I’d crave junk foody carbs for a few days.  I’d have a headache.  I’d think, “totally not worth it.”  I’d feel good again about Wednesday & do great thru Saturday.  Sunday the cycle would start again.

     

    While doing Phase One of TSFL, I didn’t succumb to this bad habit.  Since being in maintenance though, I have.  A few times.  Sometimes it would start on Friday night or Saturday and go throughout all of Sunday.  Even bigger yuck feeling come Monday!

     

    This past weekend I had my plan written out.  I knew what I wanted to do.  We spent the day with both our families.  There was good food galore at both places.  Husband’s mom made her delicious raspberry/cream cheese/cake dessert that is to die for.  My folks made delicious homemade ice cream with all the toppings.  I didn’t eat either of them.  And I didn’t feel left out.  I ate an apple & some Medifast Parmesan puffs {my fave} while everyone ate the cake.  I took my boys outside for a 40 minute walk & talked to them about what an amazingly beautiful world we live in.  The sunshine felt so awesome, too.

     

    I had a cup of my favorite cereal-Honey Bunches of Oats-when we got home, and that was a good enough “weekend treat.”  I didn’t binge.  I stayed on track.  I woke up feeling good this morning.  And although I sometimes miss my diet vanilla coke, I attribute a lot of what I was able to do yesterday to giving it up.  Water just doesn’t inspire me to eat lots of sugary carbohydrates like soda did.

     

    So, here’s to the small victory of a Sunday without binge-eating.  A Sunday of feeling good.  And especially to a Monday where I don’t feel like I’m starting from scratch again!

COMMENTS

3 Responses to

  • amber fischer wrote on June 27, 2011 at 2:47 // Reply

    Way to go, Karl!! That’s a big victory – nothing small about resisting the Sunday binge. ( :

  • Laura wrote on June 27, 2011 at 4:51 // Reply

    The black and white mentality is something that, I think, most people who have challenges w/their weight have in common. Either I’m eating ‘good’ and exercising or I’m off binge eating somewhere in front of the TV. I always think the ‘diet’ part is easy, it’s the behavior change that is the biggest struggle (speaking from personal experience and for those clients I work with too). It’s all the seemingly ‘small’ victories we need to make note of, just as much as how our physical appearance changes. If we can’t keep the behaviors, the weight is bound to creep back on!! :)

  • Meredith wrote on June 30, 2011 at 11:49 // Reply

    Good job about not binging! Karli, I am totally a binge eater as well! I will get a craving in my mouth that I just want to satisfy, even though I’m not even hungry, and I will eat and eat and eat and eat. It’s a terrible habit. I think I’ve had it for years!

    The past 3 weeks, I’ve lost 4 pounds!! I’ve just been making really little changes on my own, like not eating every time I get a craving because I know I’m not hungry, and walking a lot more. I am so happy, because usually when I step on the scale, the number seems to have gone up or stayed the same always. But..

    Tuesday night, I binged again. I ate an ENTIRE PINT of Ben + Jerry’s! Hopefully my week is not wasted and I’m going to still try to lose weight this week, but I’m not feeling super positive about it – I feel like I really need to workout a lot to do it! (Not that I will.. but I will work out at least a little for sure)

    Anyway, that was a really long life-story type comment! lol. anyway, love your blog (:

    - Mere

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