FOR REAL THIS TIME

  • talks about her Confessions

    11 Comments

     

    Confession: Sometimes I feel like a fraud.

     

    Here’s the thing: when I did Take Shape for Life myself initially, I was nailing it.  I just went after what I wanted and for ten straight weeks I didn’t cheat at all.  I lost 30 pounds.  I felt awesome.

    Then I started cheating.  A little here, a little there, a LOT one day, a tub of cool whip another day, a spiral for two days or a weekend.  Back on for a week, off for a day or two, etc.  It just wasn’t the best way to do it and I was only hurting myself and frustrated that I seemingly could not get a grip and just get to my goal. It was getting more difficult for my body to get into & stay in fat burning mode because I was continually confusing it.

     

    I was a health coach myself by this time, and I felt like I was a failure to my clients because I was still really struggling with some deep rooted issues with food & bad habits.  They were having success and they were watching me to make sure I could maintain my loss.

     

    And, I had lost 30 pounds!  I shouldn’t have felt bad about that.  I just hadn’t reached my ultimate goal.  Because of this, I felt like I was continually failing myself through my sabotages.  I would then react negatively by punishing myself with crappy foods.  It was that vicious cycle keeping me from that untouchable place I just couldn’t get.

     

    Finally, I got fed up enough that I just started maintenance-although not at my goal-and did that for a few months.  This past summer I wasn’t perfect.  Since last August I ended up gaining about 10 pounds back that I’d lost-and have more to go because I never reached my initial goal.

     

    Although I was working out A LOT this summer and really pushed myself physically, my eating wasn’t on par-not really balanced well either-and the exercise was really just benefiting my heart health, my pulse rate, and the long term concept I’d had that I couldn’t be consistent at exercise for any long period of time.  Those are all great benefits & side affects, but it wasn’t helping me lose weight, and just barely allowed me to maintain…my 20 pound loss & 10 pound gain.

     

    Thankfully, I began feeling pretty crappy.  I’d previously gotten rid of all my “fat” {to me} clothes and was definitely feeling cramped in my current wardrobe.  This caused a feeling of discomfort that is super motivating to me.  I also saw many of my amazing clients successfully reach their ultimate goals & transition smoothly into maintenance while still enjoying things they love to eat.  I knew I had to change.  I know the program works, I believe in it 100%, and I truly think it is the best way to lose weight and change personal habits, while learning how to keep the weight off for life.  I just didn’t follow the program perfectly as it was written.

     

    I saw this on Pinterest {where else, right?} and felt like I’d seen it at just the time I needed it.  I’d been beating myself up and feeling like such a failure instead of just accepting the truth which was that I’d lost 30 pounds, kept 20 off, gained 10 back, and was aware of the not so great choices I was making and needed to change them.  Falling was not failing unless I didn’t learn from it and get back up.

    So last Monday, August 29th, I recommitted.  I started the TSFL 5&1 plan a second time.  I am committed to fully reaching my goal this time and transitioning into maintenance the correct way.  I’m hoping to address the reasons I sabotage myself and be a better example for my family, clients, and friends because of it.  It’s putting myself outside the comfort zone, but I’ll be chronicling my process here in my Massive Monday posts.  Hopefully the massive will equate to amounts of weight coming off me! (:

     

    Week one went well.  I didn’t exercise all week to allow my body to enter fat burning mode.  Once I hit day four I felt a marked difference in my energy and in my bloat feeling.  I drank at least 150 ounces water each day, and stayed true to the guidelines of the 5&1 plan.  I didn’t get quite enough sleep, but felt good overall.  I had lots of opportunities to cheat myself-many temptations around-but decided instead to take pictures of the things I wanted to eat but chose not to, because it gave me a feeling of empowerment and strength.  There is so much more to life than carbohydrate loaded foods!  Not that they are NEVER okay {if that was the case I wouldn’t be able to live!}, just not a great idea every single day. {By the way, this picture doesn’t include the other night there was pizza, the birthday party with chips/creamcheese salsa dip, red velvet cake, the skittles & soda, or the Fried chicken and mashed potatoes from another weekend family get together!}

    The results on the scale yesterday for my first weigh in were: 7.5 pounds GONE since last Monday. Woohoo!  Can’t complain about that!  I’m well on my way to my goal and already feeling so much better and much less like a fraud.  I’m actually living full on what I’m teaching and coaching my clients to do.  Let me know if you’d like to join me!

COMMENTS

11 Responses to for real this time

  • Kelsey wrote on September 6, 2011 at 9:16 // Reply

    Karli you amaze me because even though you fail you still really do have the determination. You may go lax but you listen to your subconcious and rekindle your ever present desire. I always feel like I should be better but totally have a lack of desire. Super excited for your renewed focus!

  • Kris wrote on September 6, 2011 at 9:48 // Reply

    Karli, This post could not have come at a better time for me. For the past two weeks, I have been struggling, self-sabotaging, and finding it nearly impossible to stay OP for more than 3 days at a time. I don’t know what is going on. I have lost 65 lbs (well, probably not anymore at this point). Why with only 30 or so to go am I doing this?! Thank you for this post. It is making me realize that I just need to recommit myself with the dedication I had in the very beginning and make a final push to reach my goal.

  • Cheryl Sweeney wrote on September 6, 2011 at 12:41 // Reply

    I love how you said “cheating me”. Usually people say cheating the diet, but in actuality, we really are cheating ourselves! And, WOW, look at the results!! Very nice work, Karli!!

  • Brenda wrote on September 6, 2011 at 12:44 // Reply

    I’m so proud of you Karli ! You are amazing in so many ways.
    Thanks for being you! I love you!!!!

  • Candace Nielson wrote on September 6, 2011 at 1:55 // Reply

    You never cease to amaze me with your determination and focus in life. I think too often I find myself giving up. You never do. I love that about you. Thanks for the inspiration…and for making me get up and throw my brownie away that I gave into after committing myself to eating healthier today. :)

  • Steph wrote on September 6, 2011 at 4:22 // Reply

    We all have moments when we cheat. It can last a day, a week, a month, a year, several years. What’s important is that you remember that you can always get back onto the wagon at any time – but it’s that step to climb back up that is the hardest.

    I’m proud of you for recommitting! :) I know I have three days of really, really bad cheats ahead on my trip – but I am going to try hard to make healthier decisions. I hope I can vent on you if I need to afterwards! ;)

  • Jennifer Bonner wrote on September 6, 2011 at 10:43 // Reply

    Karli,

    I really enjoyed this blog. And I enjoyed it for one simple reason – It was an honest account of what 99% of American women go through. I could easily have put my name as the author.

    You said you felt like a failure because you were struggling. Being human and not being perfect does not make you a failure. Just because you didn’t get rid of the bad habits as you got rid of the weight doesn’t mean you failed anyone, including yourself. I bet you have heard this before – “It’s all a journey”. As long as you learn from the mistakes, you are succeeding.

    I don’t see anything fraudulent about your experience. Fraudulent behavior would be to lie to your clients and claim that losing weight, learning new habits and maintaining your new healthy weight is easy. I don’t believe that changing your health, changing how you perceive food and what decisions you make on a daily basis is every easy. It’s just really worth it!

    You are a great health coach because you are willing to be human. I hope you never forget that.

    Jenn

    • karlicleaver wrote on September 7, 2011 at 9:37 // Reply

      Wow Jenn, I totally needed this. I was in bed, almost asleep when it popped up that I had another comment and I read it and cried when I read the last line you wrote. Thank you for your encouragement and for being an amazing example and friend. You rock!

      • Jennifer wrote on September 7, 2011 at 2:34 // Reply

        You are completely welcome girlfriend! Being openly human (coming out of the ‘perfect’ closet) is one of the hardest things to do. You are unique and gifted in that you accept reality and do something about situations you don’t want in your life. Enjoy the lessons your journey gives you. I have learned more about who I am since I moved into transition one year ago than I did the previous 37 years. :)

  • Jennifer wrote on September 7, 2011 at 8:51 // Reply

    Karli, you are doing amazing!! So I would love to join you again…It was hard, but I felt great the little time that I did it before. I just am not sure if I can financially right now. But I would like to try to figure it out. I gained 20 pounds with this last pregnancy…so now I want to lose 30-40 pounds. We need to chat sometime!

    • karlicleaver wrote on September 7, 2011 at 9:38 // Reply

      Join away girl! You can do it! Just start making conscious choices and keep me posted. Love you!

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