• talks about her Confessions

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    Confession: I just want to be perfect, dang it!

    Yeah, it’s so not happening.  At least not in this lifetime.  So I tend to go the complete opposite direction from what I want when I realize that my journey toward perfectionism is not going the way I’d hoped/dreamed/planned/forseen.


    Yesterday a friend {and my health coach} sent me this quote that another fellow health coach, Cheryl Tooke, had written:


    I heard someone recently say that “perfection is the enemy of excellence.”  What he meant by that is that we can get so focused on wanting to do things perfectly that we become paralyzed, not willing to take the first step out of fear of failure.  Excellence is often born out of failure and the things we learn from failing, then trying again.  Generally I am an “all or nothing” kind of person.  If I can’t give something 100%, I don’t even want to try, and if I try to give 100% and fall short, I focus on where I slipped up rather than celebrating the success I had.  Can anybody identify with this?


    This is really a toxic form of perfectionism and it can absolutely paralyze us and keep us from even starting.  We look at all of the potential obstacles and unless we know ahead of time exactly how we’re going to overcome each one, we give up because the fear of failure overwhelms us. While I stayed on plan and stayed in the fat-burning state the entire 11 months it took me to lose 120 pounds, my path thus far in maintenance has been less straightforward.  I’ve shared with you that, to quote a friend of mine, ‘maintenance isn’t for sissies.’  For a recovering perfectionist like myself, doing maintenance less than 100% ‘right’ could trigger a serious backslide – you know, the old ‘if I’m not going to be good then I might as well be really, really bad’ mentality.  However, please note that I am now a RECOVERING perfectionist! What this means is that I am learning that the most important thing is to keep moving forward.  When I fall down (notice I didn’t say if), I no longer waste time beating myself up.  I try to figure out what happened, because I want to learn from my mistake, but then I just refocus on what I want and keep on going.  This has helped me stay in my goal range for the past 3-1/2 years (and in my goal size).   When I’ve found myself hovering dangerously close to the top of my goal range,  I’ve had to figure out what happened and then take steps to reign things in.

    For those of you who are still on your weight loss journey, I want to encourage you to do two things.  First of all, I really encourage you to stay on plan, because that is by far the fastest and surest way to reach your goal.  Secondly, if you do find that you’ve gotten off plan, don’t waste any time beating yourself up – just pick yourself up and keep moving forward!  Do spend some time (but not TOO much!) and try to determine what happened and why, but then move on.  Even if you don’t do this perfectly, as long as you don’t allow missteps to keep you from moving forward, you’ll reach your goal – one day, one meal, and one choice at a time . . . choose wisely.”


    Isn’t this great?  I felt like I could relate to every word she said.  I so badly want it to work perfectly, come easily, and happen quickly & painlessly.  But life isn’t like that.  If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

    I am trying to not be so hard on myself.  I’m trying to remember that I am tackling 28 years worth of bad habits and taking on a journey that is hard.  Not many people are willing to face these issues and no one-including me-can blame them because it’s not easy.  I know though, that I can do hard things.  I can finish what I started and I don’t have to be perfect right now or anytime soon.  As long as I’m striving.  And, as long as I can stop thinking about it and start doing it.  Every day.


    {image via pinterest.  Did this post make any sense?  I kinda felt like I was rambling…}


1 Response to “Perfect” Timing

  • Tara wrote on October 26, 2011 at 4:59 // Reply

    Really liked this. I have been thinking lately of getting, ” I can do hard things.” in vinyl and putting it up in my home somewhere I can see it often. Everyone has battles in life, some of us have a food battle, but I too know you can do it! Keep thinking positive and loving you, because you are beautiful no matter what your weight, and don’t you forget it!!!


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