STOP.CHALLENGE.CHOOSE.

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    yelling-mom-2

    Confession: I am a yeller.

    Here’s the thing.  I wasn’t always.  Growing up my parents didn’t yell.  At us or each other.  I communicated well with them and others.  I got my BA in Communications in college!  I know what’s effective and what’s not when it comes to forms of communication.  Yelling is not. 

    But, after I had my first boy, and he turned 2ish, and he started being kinda naughty sometimes, I just started yelling.  And it became a bad habit that stuck around.  Enter boy #2 and more yelling.  Always yelling about something.  Note: this is not the most effective form of parenting.  Yelling just isn’t good.  It takes away credibility 100% of the time.  It makes me feel guilt.  It makes my kids not like me.  It makes my husband take me aside & suggest kindly that maybe if I didn’t yell, the words coming out of my mouth would be better taken.  It makes me not like me

    Enter the Orange Rhino blog.  I was introduced to this blog 10-12 months ago.  I read her no yelling challenge.  Then I promptly and quickly left her blog.  I wasn’t ready to give up yelling!  It was too ingrained in me.  It was a habit I just knew I couldn’t break.  What she was suggesting was just too hard.  So I kept yelling.  And I kept having issues with kids/parenting/etc., that made me wonder why I couldn’t just figure things out.  I am an intelligent person, mind you.

    Sometime in August I was reminded of the Orange Rhino challenge.  I made the decision to just quit yelling.  Cold turkey.  So on August 18th, I quit.  I didn’t yell.  I haven’t looked back since.  Has it been hard?  YES.  Have there been days where I almost lost it?  YES.  Have I inched my voice up and realized I was on the brink of having a “yell moment?”  YES.

    BUT.  I have realized more than ever that my kids are really amazing little humans.  More often than not, it was ME, not THEM that needed an attitude adjustment.  When I “use my words,” like I encourage them to, we actually have better communication, imagine that!  I know without a doubt that yelling was a bad habit I had developed in my late 20’s and that I am now creating a new better habit {not yelling} to replace it.  I have a long ways to go, but I am aware and conscious, and my kids, husband, and our home are so much better for it. 

    Here is one of the techniques that has helped me best with my goal.  I utilize it often in my struggles with food or to help me stay on plan with my health routine, but I found it awesome in my no yelling commitment as well. 

    STOP. CHALLENGE. CHOOSE.

    When I feel myself starting to break and think I might yell, I STOP. {just stop talking and have some internal dialogue-this may or may not require me to leave the room or situation immediately}

    I CHALLENGE myself.  {Why am I wanting to yell?  What is going on?  Is the situation really worth this amount of passion?  Could distraction, talking it out, recommending something else, letting it go, or laughing change the situation for good?  Why am I lacking patience?  Am I tired?  Hungry?  Bored?  STRESSED? What would choosing something more positive do in this situation?}

    Then I CHOOSE.  {What lasting impact do I want to leave?  I want to feel good at the end of this little occasion.  This is small in the large scheme of things.  How I handle this will have an impact on my entire day.  I want to make an emotionally intelligent and self aware decision.  I will choose to act in a positive way now in this instant.  I can take a deep breath and handle this moment maturely.}

    This technique has helped me hundreds of times in the past two months.  STOP. CHALLENGE. CHOOSE. is awesome for pretty much anything you want to work on in your daily life.  Try it out, and let me know what you think!

    PS: I’m running a SCARY good end of the month deal for new clients right now.  And I’m down 7.4 pounds since I started program again post baby {today is day 10 for me!}.  Woohoo!

    {Results vary.  Typical results are 2-5 pounds the first two weeks and 1-2 pounds a week thereafter}  {image via google}

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